As I found myself aimlessly wandering the streets of Owl’s Head, I noticed something quite peculiar. No, it wasn’t the building near the market with all the ankhs stacked on top of each other (I don’t care what you say, that building is awesome!). And no, it wasn’t the house made of chess boards (again, awesome!). It wasn’t all the stray and cats and dogs that seem to mill about (rabies!). It was in fact a strange man, clad in fluffy pantaloons with the ability to scale and leap tall buildings in a single bound. It was reindeer up on the rooftops. It was a man shived in the back alley and left to die.
By odd coincidence I met up with Aussie native and fire-flinging hippy, royalsexy, who happened to be showing off his prowess with the new Blink spell. Using his powers, he was in fact able to climb to the top of buildings, without the use of rope or ladder. With my armor and winged helm, I weigh a metric ton and lumber along like a freight train. Royalsexy however, wearing only a kilt, was able to leap, bound, and damn near fly. I was quite mesmerizing. Of course, that which goes up, must eventually come down. And although he may be nimble, he did come down a with a thud once or twice. But the Aussie’s are a sturdy lot and he simply brushed himself off and zipped up there again.
I really hope he’s wearing something under that kilt!!
Look! He’s going to go down the chimney! Wait, is royalsexy Santa? I’ve never seen them in the same place at the same time… hmmm….
Think he’s gonna make it? Or will this end with royalsexy kissing the ground with his entire face? Or, is he about to deliver presents??
The point is, not all the action is on the streets or in the market. Sometimes you have to look up and around to see it all.
And speaking of looking up, have you noticed the debris in the sky of Owl’s Head? From what I can tell there is a door and perhaps an Oracle Head floating in the sky above the city. It defies gravity, or at least the gravity as we understand it in New Britannia. A strange sight to be sure.
And then there was the poor citizen I came across that had been shanked in the back alley and left for dead. I’m not sure if he was the victim of a PvP battle, or if someone tried to harvest his organs, perhaps he was the victim of death magic, or if he simply stumbled out of the bar and passed out face down. Either way, it was a sorry sight to see. I felt bad for the guy and you would think one of the guards would come over and lend a hand. Or at least take him off to the clink. You can’t have this sort of thing going on in town. It’ll give the place a bad name!
I was going to offer my help, but I heard there was a sale on animal hides in Peddler’s Row, so I had to go.
More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia
- This trolling must cease and desist
- Wolves and Bears living together. Chaos in the streets!
- Alley Oop kills a man in the street just to watch him die. But he really did deserve it.
- The good people of Jaanaford put Alley on trial for being a witch
- Thug Shanty Town
- Revenge is a dish best served cold, unlike champagne, which should be served piping hot!
- Royalsexy teaches me to levitate and then it’s off to the Bear Tavern Brawl in Ardoris
- Want to know what’s happening IN New Britannia? Check out the New Britannia Press
- Line Dancing in the Burning Ring of Fire Elementals
- Back into the Sewers of Solania, Ruins in the West Veiled Swamp, Crocodile Tears