In my aimless wanderings and hapless loitering about town, I noticed a vast number of players with Guild names under their character name and indeed I followed suit just to see what all this guild fervor was about. To be honest, I’m not a guild person. I simply made one to have a catchy title under my name and because if you don’t have one it makes you seem like a loner, an outcast, a recluse and clearly I can’t be considered such things. And who wants the peer-pressure and awkward social conversations of not being in a guild? So it got me thinking and that is when all the problems started. But hear me out, I may have a winner on my hands and that’s better than what’s normally on them.

Here’s the plan. For Release 14, I plan to make a Guild for players that don’t want to be part of a guild. And once you are a member of the Guild that you don’t want to be a member of, the goal will be to do nothing to support or promote the guild. By extension, if you want to be a part of a guild you will be rejected because your standards and expectations are too high. The goal is to be the most secretive organization that no one wants to be a part of.

And now for the devious part. As a guild that does nothing and does it with impunity, we will spend our time in the pub telling tales about all the things we haven’t done, thus making them deeds we have done. The mere act of denial will make them true. So, as we deny that we’ve done anything, we will be associated with doing just about everything. And the more we do nothing and deny doing anything, the more our power and influence will spread far and wide and soon our reputation will be boundless.

Since we still have time in R13, we can get the ball rolling now and hit the ground apathetically in Release 14. So, if you don’t want to join a guild, let me know in the comments or find me in the game (I’m usually down in Braemar in front of the Pub, where else?) and I can add you so you can become a non-participating member of the Punch-Drunk Templars.

Right, forgot to mention:

1. No gold minimum
2. No planned events
3. No “raids” unless we all happen to be in the same place at the same time doing the exact same thing (ie I’ve done something stupid and you need to come rescue me)
4. No PvP
5. 2 Drink Minimum

Who’s with me?

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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