It was a hot Friday night down in Braemar with some strange antics that upon reflection may have been a touch on the foolhardy side. But that which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Until it kills us.

I’m quite excited over my smithing and smelting skills to make armor. I cooked up all my Copper Ore and managed to make the Copper Plate Chest Armor with Leather Straps which isn’t exactly a good looking piece of armor, but it has some nice damage absorption, almost equal to the Epic Plate Armor. And I’m told there are some bonuses associated with this armor. I suppose I will have to go out into the woods and poke a bear, skeleton, Elf or spider in the backside to see if any of this is true. I hand crafted this armor myself, what could possibly go wrong?

Unfortunately, the resale value on this item is very low. To buy it from a Merchant is over 8k gp, but to sell one that you lovingly made with your own little hands is only work 2k gp. Bit of a markup don’t you think?

I can only say that the ringing in my ears from the previous basement explosion is to blame for some of my follies. It goes a little something like this. I was up on my roof checking to make sure there wasn’t any structural damage from those Explosive Potions when my eye caught something unusual. I spied with my little eye a hot tub on my neighbors lawn. Now there are plenty of lawns in Braemar, and plenty of hot tubs too, but the combination of the two in so close a proximity to me got me thinking and we all know that’s when the problems start. In my mind’s eye it appears I could actually jump from my roof and land in that hot tub all the way down on the property next to me. In fact, it reminds me of an act I used to perform with the Wild Beast Show, long before I became a stalwart defender of virtues for New Britannia. That act usually involved a horse and try as I might, reindeer wanted no part of my plan. He’ll follow me into combat, but not off the roof? Come on!!

Calculating the scene, I took into account all manner of vectors, angles, velocities and trajectories and all the numbers added up. They didn’t add up to anything meaningful, but I was still convinced I could jump into that pool of water and survive.

So I climbed up onto the battlement, took aim and launched myself into the heavens. It was thrilling sensations with the wind in my face and the view of the gentle water coming up to meet me. It was a majestic flight since I have incredible hang time. It took a bit of effort to keep my hat in place and not spill my drink though. Nothing ruins a night or a hot tub like spilling drinks in it.

I stuck the landing and made nary a splash as I plunged into the tub almost dead center. My first try was a resounding success and I did it with nearly pinpoint accuracy, something I’m not really known for. And I didn’t spill any of my drink which is perhaps the most important part. It was quite a thrilling ride and since I landed in one piece, Alley Oop decided she would give it a go as well. She said she was up there just to watch and to call for help should things go wrong (like that’s gonna happen), but I swear I felt a bit of nudge at the last second as I leapt away. Probably nothing though.

Like a birdie on a branch, she glided through the air, her hat in place, and gingerly came to rest in the hot tub with even less of a splash than I made. As if it were nothing at all, she hopped out and gave a little bow. Seems she it both a master of the sword and agile in the air.

I was eager to try it again and my second attempt was just as dexterous and thrilling as the first. I soared  with precision and hit my target just as I planned. It seems the carnie days have never left me.

Things did get a bit out of hand as I got a touch over zealous and without taking the proper precautions and adjusting for conditions I ended up landing in a tree. There must have been some random gust of wind or some strange turbulence that knocked me off course. But I wasn’t injured in any way, I was simply stuck in a tree. Alley Oop, suggested calling the Braemar fire brigade to help get me down, but alas, there is no fire brigade in Braemar, or anywhere else in the realm as far as I know. And even if there was, Halmar, would be in charge and all he would do is say, “Bloody Outlanders” and go back into the pub. No, I had to correct this situation myself.

Using the training I learned while studying under the monks of Madagascar, I made myself as light as a feather and was able to able to walk on the leaves themselves without falling to the ground. I found an opening in the growth and made a jump for it with a tuck, a roll, another tuck, and more rolling until I came to a stop at the bottom of the hill none the worse for wear. I even managed to keep my hat in place and my mug full.

With my feet back on the ground there was a small celebration and telling of grand adventures as Alley Oop turned 60. She has battled Skeletons, Lich, Elves, Mages, Spiders, Bears and everything in between to reach level 60. That to me is quite and accomplishment. I trail behind by more than a dozen levels, which explains why she can hit the broad side of a barn and I cannot. I know there are players both now and before that have reached 70, but let us acknowledge the achievement. That is A LOT of work, a lot of adventures, a lot of scenes and a lot of swinging the Great Sword, especially when you know that in the near future, you’ll have to start over and do it all again.

A tip of the hat to you good lady!

As a final note, for those still looking for a house, check in with the guards from time to time to see if there is a lot available. The rule is being enforced that if you don’t log in for 7 days you forfeit your house and property. I’ve seen several plots around me change ownership (I’m sure I had nothing to do with it). In fact, several new players have moved in to Braemar and as luck would have it, a corner lot that Alley Oop had coveted actually became available and she was able to claim it. This was all done under the cover of darkness, but that’s how these things go sometimes. Excellent piece of property too. So keep an eye out and ask around, lots are coming open. Not mine though. You’re not getting mine.


All right, let’s just line this up and make a jump for it. Easiest thing in the world!


There was a bit of drift and I landed on top of the hedges. They are surprisingly strong and resilient. But look, I still have my hat and my drink. No worries! I don’t suppose you have a ladder handy do you Alley Oop?


Well, this isn’t what I expected. That’s all right, not the first time this sort of thing has happened.


I will use my skills to walk along the branches and gently lower myself to safety. If that doesn’t work, I’ll simply throw myself to the ground, curl up in a ball and ride it out.

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Comments