Since that fateful night where Blake was incinerated in the lava flow of the Spectral Mines, the Braemar Combat Testing Facility has been down in our secret basement lab working on a way to prevent this terrible tragedy from happening again. Well, we know it won’t happen to Blake for obvious reasons, but we need to do what we can to keep the rest of citizenry safe. And it’s not just the lava you have to worry about, it’s those pesky fireballs the Mages seem to hurl in any and all directions. Let’s also not forget the ever dangerous fire arrow that can be leveled from your fellow citizens. Nothing makes for a worse day than being shot in the plums by an arrow loaded with fire. Ok, having those same plums incinerated in lava would indeed be worse, but it would probably be over so fast as to not notice, so my analogy still works.

Anyway, to combat these terrible dangers we’ve been working on some new fireproof leggings and what better way to test them out than to head right into the belly of the beast. Off to the Blackblade Pass!

Ok, it’s not the exact same belly of the beast, we’re working with what we have.

So, as you may have noticed while out on the Grand Tour, there is a magnificent lava pool out in the fields of Blackblade Pass. I didn’t quite pay attention to it the first time around as I was fighting for my life and desperately trying to find that damnable Tour Guide, but once I went back, the glow at night is quite striking. But lava is lava and that’s dangerous stuff. Sure, it looks all warm and cozy like a giant bonfire in the night or an entire mountain on fire, but I assure you, it’s dangerous stuff. Hot molten planet down your trousers is no game kids!

So out we went, right to the edge of danger. I admit, I was a bit nervous about taking such a plunge, but I’m willing to go great extremes in the name of science. And Alley said if I lived she would buy me an ale. The good stuff too, not the dish rag strained swill that Flynn makes.

With the challenge accepted, I threw caution to the wind, held my breath and took a brave and bracing step. And you know what? It worked! Not only was I not incinerated, I wasn’t even covered in debilitating burns.

To fully test the apparatus, I was even so bold as to sit down in the fiery sludge and lived to tell the tale! It looks like we have a winner on our hands and soon we can swing into full production and begin to sell these to the mass market. They won’t come cheap though. A lot of work and a lot of materials when into the making of these garments, but we feel confident a price tag of a mere 500,000gp and a chicken is a reasonable price to pay for peace of mind. Don’t you?

It comes with the Halmar seal of approval, and you really can’t beat that.

And now, Alley owes me an ale. Sucker!


You know, it looks a lot less hot and dangerous from up on the ridge.


So, all I have to do is wade out there, not burst into flames and you’ll buy me an ale? All right, sounds reasonable.


It’s a bit warm down there, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it a bit.


Phew, good thing I brought the right hat for the job. The joke would surely be on me if I sat down in the lava flow and no one knew where I was.


Ok, fine! Your kind can fly. That time of the year is over ya know! No one’s impressed anymore. Damnable show off.

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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