I can’t say that crawling around in the sewers of a major city is my favorite thing to do, but they do contain secrets so someone needs to go check them out right? And you know who’s become quite proficient at navigating down there? Damn right, it’s Alley Oop. I’m not quite sure what we’re searching for, perhaps some mystical relic or powerful trinket that someone flushed down there on accident. Previously we ended up in the sewers of Owl’s Head on a quest for armor. It didn’t quite turn out the way we wanted, so the quest continues.

This time we were off to the sewers of Ardoris. I wasn’t aware Ardoris had it’s own sewer system, but I suppose it all has to drain somewhere right? We found the entrance toward the back of the city center, not far from the Moon Tower. With a heave and a shove, the door swung open and down we went.

Good heavens! The smell! Good people of Ardoris, check your diet!

Things started off like any other sewer raid. We sloshed through the murky water and held our breath as we pushed through some of the heavier “fog”. And low and behold what should we find? It seems a branch of the Ebon Cultists is setting up operations down here. They’re building up supplies and stockpiling goods. But I think they might be a touch misguided in their efforts because what the hell is a fishing boat and all this netting doing down here? How do you maroon a boat in a sewer?

You power hungry chaps aren’t seriously fishing down here are you? I assure you my good man, that is not a trout! At any rate, I shall refrain from trying any of the seafood this fine city has to offer.

Alley and I aren’t the only ones who’ve come down here to investigate. There are plenty of remains of wayward souls that either never found there way out or were brought down here for some rather nefarious deeds. I certainly hope no one tried to flush this stuff down here!

We did find multiple Cultist members and each one had to be dealt with sternly. Don’t come sneaking up on me when I’m walking around in a nasty place like this. I’m going to shoot first and ask questions later. We also found they’re diligently working away down here, but to what end I’m not sure. They have their crafting stations and plenty of weapons scattered about. It all looks rather ominous I’m afraid.

Looks like we’re going to have to come back and do some more investigation, but it’s like a maze down there. It twists and turns, dead ends and circles back on itself. Whoever came up with the design plans for this is either a certified genius or an authentic wacko! I think we’ll need to employ the services of a map maker and I’m going to have to pay a lot more attention to the direction we’re travelling. I’m pretty sure we passed the same boat half a dozen times.

And let’s not forget one other thing. There seems to be a rising tide with the water down there. Did all the citizens of Ardoris flush at once or is something else going on? I thought we were going to drown and that would be a most undignified way to go. It also ruined by boots. They got wet and squishy and I didn’t like it.


Hmm, I wonder what’s in all these barrels. I certainly hope their not storing wine in them. This is a terrible place for a wine cellar. Oh yes, lovely bouquet with a hint of ????


I still think you’re up to no good, but this rug you’ve made is pretty nice.


So you put your rug right next to the sewage drain. You know it’s going to get ruined right? I mean, who puts carpet down in a sewer anyway? No wonder you guys haven’t been able to take over anything yet.


Wait, what? How the devil did a fishing boat get down here? First of all, who was the captain and where did you row in from?


That has got to be the worst stew ever. Oh and look, the tide is rising.


Oh great, we’re truly knee deep in the @#$% now. And just look what happened to this poor bastard. The indignity of it all!


OH!! OHH!! I’m up to my neck in it! It’s in my shoes! Gah, it’s down my back and in my leggings! Alley!! Alley!! Throw me a rope! Fetch the boat!

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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