You never quite know how these things are going to get started. Someone makes a comment, another makes a rebuttal and before you know it, you’re scaling some city monument in an act of random, public tomfoolery.

It all started off simply enough, Alley asked if I’d been to see the Oracle. Well, yes indeed I have. I didn’t get much out of the conversation, but we spoke and I even tried to give a high five, which the Oracle would have none of, so I left.

“No, no, no,” she corrected. “Have you been IN the Oracle.”

To which I replied, “Um, yes, very one-sided conversation. I do believe we just went over this.”

“No, IN!” she insisted.

“This emphasis on the IN, I don’t get what you mean.”

There was a great deal of incoherent mumbling, which I can only assume to mean, “well allow me to enlighten you” although it sounded a lot like “blockhead” as Alley lead the way to Ardoris and the temple of the Oracle.

With a jump and a leap and a stretch and a turn, Alley had scaled the building and was standing directly atop the Oracle temple. And with a snap of the fingers and a click of the heels she literally walked into the eye of the Oracle and disappeared.

I dropped my mug of ale.

“Where the devil did she go?” I pondered and mused. And when I realized there was not going to be an answer, I did my best to replicate what Alley just did. My first couple of tries were less than spectacular, but I found my footing and was able to shimmy my way up the side and stood before those wild, red eyes. And then I took a step forward and was completely surrounded by the glow of the Oracle. And not a warm, comforting embrace either, more like a tripping balls, I shouldn’t have eaten that mushroom I found in the forest sort of feeling. I’m sure the Oracle was nay amused. But the damage was done, what else was there to do, but climb to the very top, out of the reach of her gaze and dance until we fell!

And as with all good acts of mischief and villainy, who should show up on the scene? My confederate Blake Blackstone popped in and wasted no time in climbing to the top. He was joined by a few others and soon several of us were at the top of the metal dome with a fine view of the city. This might lead to some bad karma, but we’ll worry about that in the morning.

From there, we decided to push the limits of the citations the guards would give us and boarded a frigate that was docked in the city. It wasn’t long before I was up in the rigging which was quite a dizzying height and had Blake walking the plank! He was supposed to walk the plank and beg for mercy, but he declared he would never be taken alive and made a break for it. He bolted for the front of the ship with the intent of making a daring leap to the other vessel moored next door.

Oh, it looked spectacular, right up until the moment Blake missed the landing and plunged headlong into the drink. I should have contained my laughter as I lost my balance with all the delirium and landed in a heap on the deck below. Plus, I spilled my drink. Again.

The only way to fix this sort of problem is to find a pub. When that didn’t work, we crashed a party. We hear there was a bit of a ruckus in Valemark, so we invited ourselves over. Who should we find in the midst of the crowd? None other than Lord British. Since he carries a bit of authority around these parts, it was decided we should sober up and try to behave. When that clearly wasn’t going to work and we could end up spending the rest of our days in The Clink, I grabbed a turkey leg, a tankard of ale and made a break for it.

With those close calls behind us, Alley and I made for quieter surroundings wherein we could work on honing the skills of silent entry – a skill that had foiled us several nights ago in Ardoris. It should be pointed out to all good citizens that while the fountain is a lovely adornment for the yard, it can be used for ill – and I’m not just referring to taking a bath in it either.

Even with my less than spectacular skills, I was able to hop the fence, board the fountain and then hurl myself at the house and peer in the window. These wooden awnings are quite stable despite looking like they were made from leftover boards. The windows were fastened more so than I would have thought so the actual entry portion was thwarted. But I was peeping in the window under the cover of darkness which surely would have raised the ire of Halmar had the stumbled out of the bar long enough to discover my antics.

It was then decided to bring all of these shenanigans to and end before someone got hurt or a fountain got broken.

So what is all this talk about the paranormal? Well, I believe I have evidence of spectral beings making their home in Kingsport. While visiting the decoration merchants, I saw a ghostly cloud come drifting through the building. It felt cold and passed right through me. These are sure signs of a ghostly presence. With all the undead running around, we need to be careful. Now, I know some may say this ghostly cloud was merely mist coming off the ocean, but l refute your claims. I know the difference between fog and an unearthly form!

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Um, that is just creepy. This kind of thing will haunt my dreams.

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Um, well, ok, yeah I made it, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to regret this series of decisions.

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It’s official, I’m freakin out and trippin balls! This is the type of thing that drives people to the brink of madness!

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What could possibly go wrong with dancing on the roof of the Temple of the Oracle, in broad daylight?
Oh, we should shuck our clothes as well? Um, well, yes, I suppose that can be done too.

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Alright Blake, walk the plank for all the terrible things you’ve done! You know what you did, don’t start acting all innocent now!

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No, Blake, no!! You’ll never make that leap! Get down from there before somebody gets hurt! Nice mask though, it does instill a certain amount of piratey fear. I say we go with it.

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Oh yeah, this is too high. Oh look, it’s the POOP deck.

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Wow! This looks like a wild party! We can get into all sorts of mischief here. Wait, who’s that? Oh no! It’s jail time for sure!

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Um, hello? Anyone home? Everyone decent in there? I saw the light was on and thought I would pop over and say hello. I suppose I could have used the front door like other people do.

Is Halmar still at the pub?

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A cold and ghostly form atop the bank in Kingsport!

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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