Apart from leading tours down into the depths of the sewers, defeating hordes of Undead, Fighters and Mage, or helping hapless adventures like myself find their Grand Tour Reward Hat, Alley Oop can be find hard at work amongst the crafting stations. And while handy at making the traditional items such as chests, gothic tables and guillotines, she is quite adept at making swords that deliver a crushing blow and blaze with fire. In fact, I have one of said swords and many an enemy has met their fate at it’s business end. I may have inadvertently stabbed One Zero with it, but that was purely an accident!

But now Alley has taken her skills one step further and has completed construction on The Spiral Hedge Restaurant which is located in the hidden city of HighIron in Novia. And yes, HighIron really is hidden since it doesn’t actually appear on the Overworld Map. That’s right my friends, if you want to get in, you have to know someone. And no, saying my name at the door will not only get you thrown out into the gutter, but you will most likely be holding a raw steak against your black eye. Don’t try sneaking in either. There is a Stag that stands sentry and he doesn’t take kindly to intruders! I’m pretty sure I got some spleen damage from the last time I tried to sneak in there before it was completed.

Don’t let this stop you though. It’s a fine establishment with a wonderful layout and cozy lighting. You can enjoy some fine food and drink or sit by the fire to recount your adventurous tales. I was there the other night sampling the ale and wine selection and it was quite fabulous and in no way tasted like feet. There are some good vintages that were pressed just last week. On the menu were bear kabobs, wolf ribs, corpse wax soup and spider legs by the pound. Those can be a little hairy and prickly at times, but they are delicious. When you’re done you can easily floss your teeth with the spider silk that’s on hand.

The Grand Opening is at hand, so if you feel like checking the place out, wander aimlessly through Novia until you find the spot where a city should be, but isn’t and you’ll know you’re in the right place. Once inside, the restaurant is just to the left of the entrance gate. Look for the tall spire of Ankhs and step inside. Reservations are now being accepted!

Fair warning though, you probably want to get there before Blake and I show up for dinner and drinks wherein it’s always a good idea to keep your hands away from the table until where finished lest ye pull back a nub.



Well, this looks like a lovely conversation area. The wood pavers give it a rustic feel.


Right, so, I’m going to claim this is as my table. Nice cobblestone, lovely effect.


Oh wait, no, I’m going to claim this regal table as mine! In the shadow of the ankhs, what more can you ask for?


No, wait, I’m just going to stand behind the bar and claim that as my area!


Lovely, the smell of fresh baked bread.


If you try to sneak in without a reservation, Alley will drop on you like a BOMB!

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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