Kingsport. The lovely town by the sea with it’s brisk breezes, ferry to Ardoris, dockworkers of dubious nature and now a new resident. Alley Oop made an enviable real estate transaction and purchased a water front lot just down from the Hearth of Britannia. A fine piece of property to be sure and soon a new houseboat was moored under the careful watch of the local constabulary. No one’s going to make off with the cutlery out of this place that’s for sure!

With the houseboat properly docked and securely tied, it was time to practice the art of piracy. Some might think the first order of business is to decorate and spruce up the new abode for ensuing visitors. Nay to such nonsense! We were under the cover of darkness so it was much more advantageous to practice the art of stealth, sneaking aboard and the skillful art of plundering.

The first item and possibly only item on the list was to formulate a plan to reach the roof of the houseboat. Unlike other domiciles, there are no stairs to the roof which prevents going aloft and gazing at the moon and stars. It might also hamper the ability to spy on neighbors and see into their homes from a safe distance, but there is merely a byproduct.

The goal had been set so it was time to make preparations. Before I could make a list or don my Leggings of Stealth, Alley was bounding down the dock and disappeared into the night. Without anything to do I simply waited for her return. It was expected that she would indeed return.

And so she did and certainly not empty handed. Without warning out tumbled a dozen or more large cabinets and drawers. I was under the impression we weren’t decorating and who has enough clothes to fill all these cabinets?

But in a moment I realized these are not items of mass storage they are the building blocks of New Britannia. In short order, Alley began to arrange these blocks into a dizzying array. It looked like a puzzle who’s solution I would never discern on my own.

At that moment, I saw the head of Alley poke through the small spaces between all that woodwork. I began to see her plan. She was indeed using the cabinets as a form of scaffolding and was making fine progress toward the roofline of her new home.

It took some work, but after some trial and error she managed to piece it all together and soon made the final leap to the top. And there she was, on the roof of her new home where no ladder had existed before. I was anxious to give this new structure a try and studied the contours with great interest, plotting my path to the top.

The initial outings were not a success and I fell from a great height to the deck below. My head and neck took the brunt of the blow each time so I have sustained no permanent injuries. There was quite a loud snapping sound, but I am quite sure that was merely my bow giving way under the strain of my landing. It will be no problem to buy another or hunt down an elf and stab him in the pancreas thereby taking his.

My eighth attempt was the winner and soon I was up on the rooftop with a grand view of Kingsport. It was a beautiful starry night with the occasional cloud whisking by. I felt like we had accomplished a great feat indeed and showed my joy by jumping about. Unlike some of those houses in Ardoris, this roof was of sturdy construction and I didn’t find myself unexpectedly on a lower floor.

Kingsport boasts a fine selection of lighthouses and they all took their turn keeping the shores safe and guiding the mighty sailor or captain back to port. It’s quite exciting what you can see from such a height.

At this same time, Alley was in the process of removing her makeshift construction. Well that was no problem. I would not be stranded on the roof and would merely fling myself into the cooling harbor when I needed to get down. To my surprise she relocated it on the dock and using a fraction of the previous material from the original erection was able to nimbly scale the structure and climb back to the roof.

It seems for our first go round we had chosen a poor spot with which to make our ascension. It’s better to actually build outside the boat than on the main deck. But that’s why we have these exercises!



That is in no way precarious and unbalanced, I shall climb it immediately!


I am fully confident that when I fall, the water will catch me in it’s soft and loving embrace and no harm will come to me.


Oh? It looks like someone may have already laid claim to that little plot and planted their flag.


What a lovely view of Kingsport. Whoa now! I see what you’re doing in there!


Yes, well, Kingsport Guard, I do realize this looks a touch suspicious, but I don’t think there is a need to brandish the baton of clubbing is there?


Huzzah! The highest point on the house! I can see for miles from here! Oh, Pirate Flag!


Um, yes, well, that would have been much easier…

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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