I admit that Alley’s skill with the blade may seem a bit super human. He ability to find and root out danger may seem a dash beyond the norm. Even her ability to craft powerful and precise weapons can border on the extraordinary. I dare say she has a knack, perhaps even a gift for these matters. I’m not sure what transpired between her and the good citizens of Jaanaford, but whilst I conversed with the local fisherman and indulged in tales of adventure and revelry, a ruckus broke out in the town square. I paid it no heed at first, but the jeers began to catch my attention.
Excusing myself from the lads, I bid myself leave to investigate the melee and came to the shocking conclusion that the local townsfolk, simple though they may be, thought Alley’s powers and skills to be otherworldly and perhaps inspired by malevolent, even devilish forces.
I explained to the crowd that Alley was simply all knowing, all powerful and capable of many feats that defied comprehension and there was nothing to be fearful of. She was a champion of the people and used her powers for good in dispatching the undead.
This did not seem to quell the crowd and they made remark they had seen her levitate in scaling the cliffs of the city and that it was the work of unnatural forces.
Nay, nay good citizens. I explained that Alley was merely gifted at spelunking and had adapted her skills to scaling a sheer rock face. What seemed an act of foiling gravity was merely her speed and agility. She was merely spritely, yet not a sprite.
The grumbles continued and more jeers were heard about feats that could not be the work of a mere mortal. I then made the rather fateful jibe of, “Come now, you don’t think she’s a witch do you?”
Then it was on. The crowd was riled, the cries were heard, the torches were grabbed. The pyre was set ablaze and while I stood aghast, the crowd put Alley to the hazard.
We were then awe struck as Alley stood amidst the flames, completely unscathed. She stood casual, rather stoic against the stinging of the flames.
Oh my goodness, oh my damn! Maybe she is a witch?
Yes, well, ok. I can certainly understand your confusion at this precise moment. Rest assured that even though I have no good explanation for this happenstance, I’m sure everything is fine. I believe the best thing to do now is bow down and ask for forgiveness before we all get incinerated. And, I might be going out on a limb here, it might be a good idea for someone to slip off and fetch a bucket of water. And perhaps a towel. But mostly a bucket of water.
More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia
- Someone has poisoned the water cistern
- A visit to Skrekk
- Seasonal amusements and equinoctial masquerades at the local merchants
- Behold the Power and Might of the Fire Chicken!
- Pantaloons full of Devotionals
- Alley tans my hide for skill and profit
- Bring forth the flaming sword of smiting and devastation!
- Chronicles of Necromancy amidst the Crag Foothills
- All that glitters gets nerfed
- Look! Up in the Sky! And bad things can happen in the back alley’s of Owl’s Head