The time has come for me to face the terrors that plague me in the deep hours of the night. Not the terrible effects of too much Fireweed Ale, but something much more powerful.

I’ve been practicing the art of the Fire Skills and after a few false starts, a few singed hairs and some rather disastrous results to that wooden domicile I didn’t realize was there, I have begun to achieve mastery. Not Grand Mastery, just mastery in the sense of not igniting anyone that wasn’t meant to be ignited. The next tier is the Fire Elemental itself. But in order to conjure an elemental, you must defeat an elemental. Oh curses.

With that, I set off to Nightshade Pass to face the hazard and what would most likely be a fiery end. For me, not the elemental, she was already on fire.

I had recently learned the craft of creating an Earth Elemental so with the help of Mud Bug, I tried to snuff out this flaming harpy of ill will and hatred toward all mankind.

Oddly, it worked. Alley had agreed to be my spotter in case things got out of hand, or I got in over my head, or my leggings got incinerated. Oba, Gravedancer, Stank, Jobe and the others were off at the Pipsqueak PvP tournament and were thus not on hand to witness my victory.

Sure, they can kill a man just by looking at him, but this is just as worthy.

But with the use of Earth and Ice, I managed to stay alive. It was touch and go there for a minute, however, I walked away with no signs of smoldering.

Clearly the heat of the event had caused delirium, as Alley suggested I try my hand at the local troll that guards the bridge to the Hilt Fortress. After airing my surprise at her suggestion, I agreed to give it a try.

In my mind I was triumphantly victorious, kicking the troll off the bridge and sending him running into the lake to cool himself from the savage defeat I had given him. In reality, it was I who was thrown into the lake, on multiple occasions, and suffered the indignity of being stepped on like a pesky insect at a picnic. I’m not sure trolls actually picnic, but if they, that’s how it would have looked.

I took my first five defeats in stride. It’s not the first time I’ve suffered at the hands of a troll. And certainly won’t be the last. All that stomping on my head and attempts to pulverize my spleen must have worn him out.

It was my time to strike and trapping him by the bridge I led a savage and furious assault on his person. Even Mud Bug managed a few hits to his skull before he landed face down in the dust.

I was rather pleased with my effort, even though the score was 5 to 1 for those who might be keeping count.

And while he was down, I rifled through his pockets then took my leave at a judicious pace. I had a previous engagement in Desolis with a Fire Maiden that has possibly stared at the sun one too many times.

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Ok, sure, I admit, you may have won the first five or six rounds, but who’s laughing now? I’m quite certain you’re not just going to pop up from that bit of head trauma.

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My goodness, what a horrible, foul smelling scene, with disgusting bits of who knows what all over the place. Look what you made me do to my leggings!

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Oh dear, I may have struck him a touch harder than I intended. I blame this on Mud Bug.

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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