I admit, my intentions were not noble. I didn’t want to contact my spirit guide in order to commune with the animal world to harness their animal instincts and adaptability at survival. Rather, I wanted to discover the most efficient way of dispatching them with the business end of my sword.

With that, I made my way to the Necropolis Barrens to commune with Dravropos who knows a thing or two about the spirit world. I could have gone to those spirit-talkers over in Ardoris, but they seem to have morals and scruples that just get in the way.

Outside his tent, on a dark night, we sat by the fire and I sipped at the strange brew he concocted for me. I don’t think he made it especially for me but rather had a large cauldron and scooped out a chunky cup for me.

Almost instantly my mind was swimming, the colors sang, the trees laughed and the dirt kissed me on the cheek. Against the still of the night, I heard Dravropos talking to me, guiding me to find my spirit guide. The cosmos was full of guides and mentors, but I had to narrow in and find mine. He told me to concentrate, which I did as best I could considering my stupor.

He said that while the heavens seem random and chaotic, they are indeed full of order and method, if I knew how to approach them. Spirit guides were actually responsible for a great many souls and those of like nature fell under a particular guide.

Not quite on board with his meaning I continued to chew at the local scrub. Dravropos took out his journal and flipped through the pages. He scribbled down several notes and flipped more pages still. And then his voice boomed inside my head. “Is this your true and lawful name?” he demanded.

“As far as you know,” I replied in a rather disembodied voice that made me sound powerful and ominous.

“Then it is done!” he declared as he closed the book with great exuberance and dramatic flair and put it to the side. He then sat, closed his eyes and began to chant.

“We call upon the spirit world,” he said in a low, even tone. “We seek the one that watches over this adventurer.”

The fog of my mind began to clear and I sat opposite Dravropos as he peered into the veil. I looked around expecting a reply out of the darkness. Or perhaps an ambush.

“We seek wisdom and enlightenment,” Dravropos continued. “We seek council with the mighty spirit who watches over PeteWi the Disoriented!”

His voice sounded authoritative and sure. And then he bellowed, “We seek council with the powerful Moon Moon!” He raised his hands to the heavens.

“Did you say, Moon Moon?” I interrupted.

“Yes,” Dravropos answered. “He is the one assigned to watch over and protect you. It is a wolf spirit, powerful, cunning and majestic.”

“And he’s called Moon Moon?” I inquired again.

“Yes,” Dravropos replied again as a figure appeared. The light shimmered and shifted like ripples on the water. I tried to focus as best I could, the image starting to take shape. And there it was, as Dravropos had said, a regal wolf walking toward us. It’s coat was a brilliant white and luxurious gray. It grew in size with each step, it’s countenance looming in the night.

“Speak to us, Moon Moon!” Dravropos said excitedly. “This adventurer offers his friendship and wishes for you to be by his side as he fights against and vanquishes the forces of darkness. Speak to us, Moon Moon, what guiding words of wisdom do you have for us?”

There was a long silence as Moon Moon looked us over, sniffing at the air. The night grew cold as a wind swept past. The fire flickered and the mighty Moon Moon, drew closer, his eyes set upon us.

“I can count to potato!” he blurted out as walked into a tree. He then began to chase his tail in a fury of motion. “You won’t escape me this time!” he yelled, spinning in tight circles.

I stared at Dravropos. He stared back.

Just as quickly as he started, Moon Moon stopped. He stood there for a moment, his body lightly swaying. “Hairball!” he exclaimed out of the darkness as he threw up, the ethereal retch landing on Dravropos’ head.

“All better!” he exclaimed. His head whipped to the side as he pounced on something Dravropos and I could not see. He attacked it with great vigor, but his footing was unsteady and he met the ground face first. There was a dull thud as his legs flailed and kicked in the air. Moon Moon collapsed in a heap. The image vanished and we were left in darkness.

“This might explain a few things,” I said with a slight tone of disappointment.

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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