While strolling through the mountainous ranges of Forlorn Peak, admiring the majesty of the terrain and beginnings of a new settlement, I stumbled upon what looked to a formidable fortress, complete with ramparts, rotunda and satisfying iron gates. My curiosity piqued, I had to investigate.

As I drew nigh, a trove of chests were revealed as well as an impressive collection of crafting stations. I could only surmise this was the vault of some well to do citizen who wanted to protect their spoils of adventuring from the curious and light fingered. I scaled the towers and surveyed the construction from the thick, protective walls. It was a grand spectacle, slightly crooked in some places, but worthy of my admiration.

But admiration quickly faded to jealousy and frustration as I realized this bastion was owned and had been constructed by Alchemister. How dare he!

I shook my fist at the heavens and cursed the green monster of jealousy. How could he have such a marvelous structure and I had nothing of its equal? Where is the justice? Where is the fairness? Where is the mason? This shall not stand. Rather, it will stand, and it will stand on my property!

Despite my best efforts to vandalize and sully his fort, I left with nothing but dashed desired and dented boots. It seems he anticipated my vengeance and fortified his fortification. But I will make amends! I shall not be denied! This savage taunt directed right at me shall not go unanswered! I take up this challenge and throw down the gauntlet. You haven’t heard the last of me!

In truth, he didn’t hear me the first time as he wasn’t home, but he been there, and paying attention, it would have been a different matter entirely.

I have set about enlisting masons, journeymen, blacksmiths and anyone else who can cut granite into the blocks that will make up my own mighty fortress, ready to withstand the siege. It matters not that Alchemister resides in another town, on another continent, completely unaware of what I’m doing, I will make ready the nightmare of war.

I will make my own fortress, I shall entrust it with my own spoils. I may not have any spoils at the moment, other than cheese, but that’s all about to change. I am determined, I am focused, I am at the ready.

The groundwork of my rich encampment has been laid. My walls may be no straighter than those of Alchemister’s, but that is of no consequence as I have to settle for the work that those willing to be paid in ale and fish stew can provide.

Fear not, this is far from over. There will be a massive erection in town, and it will belong to me!


Oh my, what have we here? This looks to be a splendid fortress tucked away and protected by this moat.


Well, not all the walls can be straight, I understand that,  no harm there.


Wait a minute, this belongs to Alchemister? That insufferable cad! How the devil did he get a fortress when I don’t have one? The insult I have received here today will not go unanswered my friend.


What do you mean you won’t work in the rain and the ale is warm? Get to work you peasants! This fortress needs to be finished so I can wage siege! At this rate I will never get to destroy Alchemister. Hello? Anyone?

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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