As they say, if we do not ever take time, how can we ever have time? And so, while walking the path of my mystical journey to find my heart, free the embers and rescue Radiance, I took a moment to stop and smell the flowers. Since there were no flowers, I did the next best thing, which was to stop and admire the gourds.
Gifford was hard at work tending to his sincere pumpkin patch with designs of winning some sort of enormous gourd contest. While I felt his patch verily exuded sincerity, he was awash in less than sincere thoughts. His desire to win was rooted in revenge against the reigning gourd champion who has held the title for many years and Gifford feels he’s due. He leveled several stinging chastisements against his nemesis and threw out several accusations of cheating. Gifford then claimed his victory would settle the score against his gourd growing foe for the indecent act of luring his wife away. The pumpkin seed of hatred had firmly taken root. I left Gifford to stuff the breeches of his scarecrow in a most aggressive and disagreeable manner.
I then ran into Hamish, who was also tending to a sincere pumpkin patch and may be the target of Gifford’s vitriol, all though he denied all knowledge of such complains and left me no opportunity to discuss the matter. He instead chose to sidetrack me about some wild dragon story and a young lad bent on heading into the woods alone to prove their existence. This sounded like pure madness and Hamish glibly said the boy was probably dead, but I should check on him nonetheless.
Hearing there was a lad in peril, I felt it my duty to take up the mantle and learn his fate, although, I felt suspicious about the whole affair. I think Hamish is merely getting me out of the way so I don’t discover that he is planting seeds in another man’s pumpkin patch.
A good evening to you Gifford. What a fine pumpkin patch you have going here. I see you have a hefty specimen right over there. Although I don’t believe you will win your lady friend back simply because you display your manly gourd in public for all to see. I know not the rules of your competition, but I’m sure it shall bring you recognition of some sort.
Now look here Hamish, don’t go distracting me with tales of some lad chasing the dragon. I think we need to settle this pumpkin dispute.
More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia
- Sewer dwelling cultists under The Salty Keg
- The Cliffs of the Giants and the icy shrine below
- From the Bog to Pinnacle to the Bastille
- Removing Corrupted Stags from the Library of the Goblin King–Ember
- Ember – Some final thoughts
- Attacking the Wererabbit in the Temple of Radiance – Ember
- Into the Ember Mines
- Trippin Balls in the Bog of Souls
- In the hall of the Great Goblin King – Ember
- Coming out of Radiance and into Darkwood – Adventures in Ember