The Ember Mines might have taken longer to reach than anticipated due to some navigational challenges, but we arrived just in time to save the King. Apparently, the King had gone down into the mine to greet some people and kiss some babies, but never returned. Why you would take a child into a mine is a question for later. Clearly they can’t hold a pickaxe.

Since I needed to visit an altar contained within the mines, I said I would check on the King and take care of my other business and none shall be the wiser. The guard readily agreed and we descended only to find dwarves gone mad. There was chaos in the tunnels as the miners had been stricken with some form of delirium and attacked all those who came near.

Stab me once with a pickaxe, shame on you. Stab me twice with a pickaxe, shame on me for not stabbing you with a sword. And so the battle was on. Hordes of dwarf miners blocked our path as we searched for both the King and the ember altar.

And when we reached the source of the malady, we found the Darkbringer standing off to the side letting out fits of maniacal laughter. Before I could smite him across the face for this act of cowardice, he disappeared and left his darklings behind to feast upon our bowels.

Well, the joke is on them, as I am still using my bowels and am determined to defend them. Our party, with the help of the King himself and his guards, wrestled the darklings to the ground, trod upon them soundly and used the power of steel and fire to silence their wicked ways. It was a terrible battle with some of the King’s men having a great fall and suffering a fatal blow. But he exited the melee victorious and thanked us for coming to his aid.

I replied that I’m always ready to help out a king and asked if he happened to see an altar about the place while he was being held captive. He replied in the affirmative and that the Darkbringer spoke of nothing but this altar and how I would soon arrive.

"Well, it’s nice to be thought of," I replied. "Perhaps you could point me in the direction of said altar before you depart this stifling catacomb of death?"

And so we made our way over to the altar and placed the ancient relic upon it, just as we’d been instructed to. When the roof didn’t collapse and no creature sprang out of the darkness, we looted the dwarven bodies for their rather swanky swords and armor and made a retreat to the nearest town where we could exchange them for gold.

When that business is concluded, it’s off to the docks, where we might be able to spend these coins on some more lively forms of entertainment. Shuffleboard for everyone!


What do you mean, what am I doing? I’m following the tracks of course and they go this way!


Hmm, a crossroads. I’m no good with making life-changing decisions!


I’m not sure what that is, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s bad


Yes, hello. Perhaps you could point me in the direction of the ember altar? Perhaps you’ve seen it?


The Darkbringer? You diabolical bastard!


Feeling a bit hot in here if I do say so. And perhaps not the best place to erect an altar. Not much foot traffic I’m guessing.

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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