The fun and frolic of the seaside was put on hold as I was pressed into service to visit the Cliffs of the Giants – the call of the Shrine compels me. Those poor devils have been shuffled off to one of the most frigid places in this realm. However, they bid me welcome and let me warm my cockles at their campfire. I was even able to make a peace offering with the raw fish I always keep in my pocket.

But this only served to bring up a larger problem, fishing off their shores by the Fish Co. The giants were relegated here by the Treaty, so it seems a bit wrong for fisherman in the City of Light to venture this far up to poach some salmon. Thus, I agreed to help out the giants. Additionally, they wouldn’t tell me the super secret location of their shrine until I at least looked into the matter.

So back to the docks I went and straight into the office of Fish Co. The owner was willing to troll other waters, but only if I managed to source a special fishing spot that The Old Man knew about. Figuring I could use my powers of persuasion, I found The Old Man on the edge of town and sat down to see what we could arrange.

He cast a dubious eye upon me and judged by my attire that I didn’t know my ice hole from a hole in the ground. I took offense. I took umbrage.

“Look here sir,” I retorted. “I may be newly back from the dead, but rest assured, I was poking my rod into ice holes all over this realm long before you took up to squatting on a bucket and staring out into the lonely sea.”

He scoffed at my bravado, then with intent to prove me wrong, threw down the gauntlet. He would tell me of his new fish source, but only if I could land Ole Puffy, a fish of legend and ingenious cunning, that has eluded him. If I succeeded, I would be rewarded with a map.

Thusly, I laid down my sword, grabbed my rod with both hands and went from hole to hole, casting it in deep to see what I could catch. I would claim victory over Ole Puffy, it was just a matter of time.

This proved to take longer than I thought, and I admit, I was discouraged. I had cast my line dozens of times with nary a notice. The day began to wane to night and my expectation of entering the Shrine began to dwindle. But then it happened. There was a bite at the line and the battle was on!

Zannon, frustrated and wanting to move on, used the power of the bow and skewered the fish repeatedly. It may not have been sportsmanly, but it was keenly effective.

I brought the pincushion fish back to The Old Man, and with a laugh of triumph, handed it over and demanded the map. This may not have been what he expected, but a deal is a deal. He acquiesced, but on my way back to Fish Co to settle this matter, I was accosted by another disgruntled fisherman, who bade me take an alternative course of action. He wanted Fish Co out of business and in exchange, would give me a few sticks of explosive and a tinderbox so as to sink the Blue Whale to the deep.

While it seemed like a good plan, I felt compelled to decline the offer. Now, if the Fish Co goes back on our bargain then by all means Lenny my good man, we shall board that craft under the cover of darkness and blow the bowels right out of it.

I took this news back to King Rok to see how he would roll with these changes and the plan seemed agreeable to him. So much so, that he showed me the location of the shrine.

I descended into the icy vault and was met by a hideous array of creatures that did not show the same glee at my fish offering as the giants. They were intent on doing me grievous bodily harm. Very well, the sword it shall be.

The three of us hacked our way through dozens of creatures that barred my path to the shrine. Each one met the same terrible fate, face down in the yellow snow. I made no qualms and looted their cold, dead corpses. I found some good swag that way. I even went so far as to enter the lair of Pyros, a menacing polar bear. I offered him fish in exchange for leaving the giants alone. But the uppity sod refused, only to show his claws. I kept that paw as a trophy and it makes a fine back scratcher.

But there was more important business to attend. Down in the icy catacombs, where no one had tread for centuries lay the shrine I was searching for. I had cleansed the chamber of evil and once again brought life to the altar through my offering. It glowed with a renewed radiance and I felt myself getting closer to my ultimate destiny.

I made a retreat and checked over every wrecked Shaman corpse on my way out. I left no pocket unturned. With heavy sacks full of loot, I stopped at local merchant who was quite keen to offer coins for the treasure I handed over.

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Hello lads. mind if I sit by the fire for a moment? My pockets are full of fish in case you might be interested in such things.

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Well, all right, I wasn’t expecting these

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I have a plan. It’s not tactically genius, but we lure the big lummox away and I stab him in the back. If that doesn’t work, Corra will set him on fire. If that doesn’t work, I’m going to need Zannon to run for the healer as we might be in serious trouble.

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My foolproof plan worked. We’re all still alive. Now let us get on with the task of sanctifying this altar.
Now, just for my own benefit, why was it built all the way down here?

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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