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I appreciate you taking the time out of your busy day to listen, Scarecrow. It’s a tough realm out there and I’m starting to take all the threats of violence and attempts to stab me in the kidney a bit personally. At first, I thought the thugs and ruffians were just up to a bit of mischief, but it seems they are trying to pull together some sinister plans and I’m not sure what to do about it.

I go out with the sword and throttle them into submission, but the next day, they’re back at it, causing a ruckus, hatching plans, stealing lettuce, skulking about in caves. It’s getting a bit much really. I’m not sure if any of my efforts matter at the end of the day. Sometimes I think I should give it all up and find a situation in the pub. I can lift heavy things. I can be useful.

But, I’m just prattling on now. You have your own problems to deal with I’m sure. It can’t be a walk in the forest to spend the day up here watching over the grapes, soaking in the rain, dealing with the oppressive heat, and the constant threat those birds flying overhead must bring. At least you have a hat! Silver lining and all that!

It is a quandary though isn’t it? What to do, Scarecrow? What to do…

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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