While I didn’t get to ride or even see the mine carts, things took quite a turn as we entered K’rul. The Kobolds did indeed have some impressive inventions, but alas, they were all variations of mechanized death. It seems this is a blood-thirsty clan and this is the sort of thing that happens when there is no adult supervision or oversight.

Normally, a clockwork raven would be a wonder to behold. But alas, in the hands of these Kobolds bent on creating death machines, they are ravenous and go straight for the eyes. As soon as we arrived we were beaten down by their potent metal wings.

A clockwork cat would seem to be a fine companion, and being a fan of the felines, Alley went to make friends. Regrettably, kitty tried to take off her arm and leapt for the jugular. This was made worse by the clockwork dogs that were stirred up by the flapping of the ravens and cries of hostility by the cats. Soon they were trying to use our legs as chew toys and the scene quickly escalated to violence.

Even Jobe had tried to make friends, but was soon being chased by a menacing horde. He is light on his feet and proceeded to weave a web of confusion to the point we had no idea whether he was coming or going. It was then decided we should simply light the entire chamber on fire and let the flames sort it out.

In the confusion, smoke and screams for help, we misplaced the exit and were soon faced with multiple choices on which way to proceed. Blistering steam burst from the pipes causing savage wounds and blocking our visibility. Each turn seemed to put us in the way of some new hazard.

I thought perhaps salvation might be at hand as we came across several monkeys sitting on barrels. I was hopeful they were helper monkeys, but I was sadly mistaken. They flew out of those barrels and set to work on pummeling us into the ground. Those terrible miscreants have the grip of a titan!

They jumped and leapt in a seemingly random fashion causing terrible harm. We defended ourselves as best we could, but as Jobe stated, it’s not wise to chase a monkey down a darkened corridor. And now we were even more lost than before.

While stopping to get our bearings, we were greeted with a very sad sight indeed. The normally pleasant and hat giving automatons had been turned into assassins. Their sinister blue bodies crept out of the darkness and went right to work at cutting us down. Those happy days of receiving a tricorn hat were gone as they delivered one crushing blow after another. I’m quite sure I lost a spleen in the fracas.

We managed to escape, but found ourselves in even more grave danger at the hands of a giant watcher with ruinous designs on our person. I don’t care what the watcher was trying to report back to the Oracle, it was not an unprovoked attack.

The last moments of the situation are merely a blur. As we tried to reach higher and safer ground, we made the mistake of entering a chamber containing the most ill-tempered monkey of them all. I believe it was called K’Kong, but I lost control of my faculties and passed out where I stood.

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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