As I made preparations for a night pillaging the pockets of thugs, Alley communicated that our efforts might be better spent in Upper Fortus. A land dispute had erupted into fits of violence between the Thugs and Kobolds. Alley thought we could be the voice of reason and offer solutions to the discord. I am keenly savvy with negotiations and packed my trusty cask of ale.

Upper Fortis is quite lovely with a sweeping landscape and majestic waterfall. I could see why those both laid claim to the area. It had been an arduous journey, so I stopped a moment to rest and refresh my feet in the rejuvenating waters of a nearby spring. While I was giddy with excitement with the simple pleasures, Alley was being far more adventurous.

Taking into account angles and trajectory, she exclaimed, "Look, a log ride!" and hurled herself into the rush of the waterfall and was immediately swept away. Needless to say, I stood in stunned silence. As I looked into the swirling mist, I saw Alley carried by the current heading toward a more placid inlet.

Since she was unscathed by the adventure and always up for a waterslide myself, I eased into the swell and let the current carry me. In an instant I was at a breakneck speed hurling toward the edge. It was both terrifying and invigorating and after several moments of not knowing which way was up, I found myself in the calmer waters, Alley waiting for me to arrive.

Judging me not to be drowned, she raced on and over the next terrace, a yell of glee echoing through the canyon. Caught up in the excitement, I followed suit and went over the side.

As I came to wade in this second pool, I noted the "log" comment Alley had made earlier. From the side, tree trunks swept along and by standing on an outcropping, it was possible to jump aboard and take a pleasant tour of the canyon.

I was keenly interested to give this a try, so setting myself in the appropriate place, I judged the speed of the log, took in account wind resistance and made my leap.

My first try was not a success. The speed was greater than I expected, the surface more round and slippery, and I found myself hung up among the protruding limbs. This not being my first time being suspended under water by my short pants, I had experience in getting myself free.

Undeterred, I took my position again, and set about for another try. This log welcomed me with an open embrace and I was soon drifting through the canyon taking in the unusual sights of the luminous mushrooms and looming rock structures.

All too soon the ride was over. Some of the Kobold caretakers waited at the launch to help bring me aboard. They even launched fireballs in celebration and welcome.

Back on dry land, I thanked them for a wonderful experience and eagerly said I would like to give it another try. With that, I tossed the chap a coin and dashed back up the hill.


This is quite a lovely valley. Of course, if they don’t knock off their diabolical ways, I’ll just have to burn the entire lot of this.


Alley what are you doing? Where are you going? This is madness! Oh, rainbow.


That was indeed a spirited ride. Although, I fail to see any log.


Oh, that’s where the logs come in. This seems a bit high to actually line up and grab one. But you go ahead Alley, you have a knack for these things.


Haha! I am the captain of this vessel and none shall take it away from me!
Oh curses, the ride is over already. Look here chaps, I’m going to run back and try it again!

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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