While I welcome and encourage you to observe all my glorious deeds of virtue and courage, for there are many, I believe it can be done without you sneaking up from behind and probing me in the backside. Some would say that is a dash intrusive on your part. However, if such things must be done, I feel it appropriate that you at least purchase an ale for me and suggest you hold back and wait until the Immolation has dissipated before swooping in. You have proven, that unlike me, you are not fireproof. Your indiscretion and exuberance will get you incinerated and the Oracle will frown upon me even further.

My deeds are worthy of the Oracle’s attention, but these repeated “catastrophic failures” you suffer at my hands does neither of us any good.

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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