Due to some recent unpleasantries and mild life-threatening mishaps at the crafting stations this Yuletide season, I have decided to implement some safety precautions. That textile loom is a dangerous piece of equipment and is on the cusp of being a menace to society.

After consulting with the Kobolds and some back alley alchemists, I have devised an impressive warning system that will alert Alley Oop and several of my designated spotters should I befall a mishap and become incapacitated.

Through deviously clever craftsmanship and design, we have created a chronograph based device that must be reset at regular intervals while I am the crafting stations. Should the time expire without my intervention, a penetrating warning beacon shall light up the heavens and will be seen for miles in all directions.

This will prompt my confederates to come rushing to my aid and untangle me from whatever mishap has befallen me.

A full and complete test would subject me to almost certain death, the design is sound and I feel confident that I am no longer taking my life in my own hands as I work at the textile station. I have no doubt it will attempt pull me into it’s evil clutches, but all shall be alerted to my distress and help will be on the way.


Fear not, this is merely an exercise! I am still in possession of all my fingers and toes!

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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