After hearing of the bazar in South Midmaer Way, I was anxious to have a look and peruse the stalls for bargains. As expected it was a crowded affair and although the Satyr overlords stood gloomily at the entrance with their menacing axes, they assured me my coin would be well met.
However, it turned out to be the most bizarre bazar I’ve been to, as there was nothing for sale. While they had gone to great lengths to set up the stalls and hang the festively colored awnings, they had neglected to bring along trinkets worthy of my purchase.
I was expecting fashionable rugs, some interesting garments, perhaps some intriguing and deadly weapons, but found nothing. I noted one citizen snacking on a festive looking turkey leg, but I was unable to locate such a tasty morsel for myself.
“Do you chaps actually sell anything of note at your bazar?” I asked the faun attendant.
“Don’t be mad!” he cried.
“Steady on little fellow, I have no animosity toward you. I have disappointment in your marketable offerings. At the very least, with this blazing sun, you lads would do well to set up a public house in the shade of those trees and offer the beleaguered traveler a cool ale and mutton chop. Perhaps even section off an area of that lake for a refreshing plunge in the water.”
“I don’t have anything!” he cried again. “Talk to Fleck!”
“Yes, well, perhaps I will just look around a little more.”
It was then that I noted the door carved into what appeared to be the mouth of a large creature. The plaque and lanterns also struck a chord with me.
“What have we here?” I said aloud as I made my way over. “Tomb of the Child King,” it said. “This sounds quite promising. Where is the admission attendant so that I can pay a few coins and take a peek inside.”
I saw no one queueing up, nor anyone selling or taking tickets. “I must not have spoken with the right faun,” I said making my way back.
Despite my queries, pointing and offering to pay to see the tomb, none of the fauns had any idea what I was referring to. All they could manage was a “Don’t be mad.”
This lead me to talk to the head men, the satyrs themselves. I prefer the fauns, as they are less prone to random outbursts of violence and threats of physical harm, but I was getting nowhere on my present course.
This line of inquiry proved to be as fruitless at the first.
“It’s the tomb right over there,” I said pointing. “How do I gain admittance? I have coins. You like coins. The transaction is nearly complete. All I need is for someone to open the door and we’ll both get what we want.”
“Speak plain!” he bellowed.
“I don’t believe I can make it any more plain. You have a tomb, it’s right over there. We can both see it. I would like to give you some coins and go inside to have a look. You’ve even made a plaque and everything.”
“I don’t understand,” he replied. “Humans are puny.”
“Now see here. Are you telling me, you’ve gone to all this trouble and effort to set up a bazar in the middle of this canyon and not only are you not selling anything of note, you’re going to pretend the tomb doesn’t exist when I question you about it?”
“Ho ha!” he bellowed and walked off.
“Disappointing!” I yelled at him.
Undaunted I returned to the tomb and read the plaque. “Perhaps this is a self service attraction and the satyr are merely laughing at my misunderstanding. Very well, I shall find the coin box and let myself in.”
But it was not to be. My heart sank and my frustration rose as the plaque turned out to be a ridiculous riddle. “One must gain the approval of three regents before seeking audience with the King.”
“Curses and damnation! I’m not getting drawn into this. I’m not going to run around in random directions looking for objects I don’t have a clue about just to get inside this tomb for the chance of finding a pittance of loot. I won’t do it! Not again! It just leads to frustration and hours of aimless wandering!”
I then noted there was a torch lit path behind the tomb, and felt compelled to follow it.
And all you satyr are claiming you have no idea what I’m talking when disucssing this tomb? Hmm, I wonder where this path leads. I’m surely going to regret this.
* Special thanks to Rinaldi for unravelling the mystery of this ridiculous quest
More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia
- To the Tomb of Ankhurt the Prestigious in South Midmaer Way
- The Satyr Who Guards The Broken Echoes Silver Mine
- Investigating the Tomb of the Talhoffer Twins
- Opening the Tomb of the Child King
- To the Infested Cave in South Midmaer Way
- The opening volley for Release 10 has gone incredibly poorly
- The Mansion of Sorrows
- Pumpkinhead rises out of the not so sincere pumpkin patch
- Whoever designed Vauban Pass, you have my ire!