I had an idea. And unlike all those others, this one had merit and would most likely work out. I retraced my steps back to the South exit of town. From there I traveled East-Southeast. As they say, always East.

Along the canyon wall, I discovered what looked to be another tomb. My suspicions were heightened as there were barrels of that explosive mixture and another ever so tempting switch to be thrown. And wanting for it to reach it’s full potential, I flipped it.

The explosion, debris and kaboom were glorious and deafening. I was thrown to the ground and nearly concussed. I regained my senses to find myself covered in a heavy layer of dirt. But, there was a new cavern opening and I headed straight for it.

The spiders came out to greet me. And in return I caressed them in the warm embrace of immolation and scratched their little heads with flame fist. When the flames died down and smell dissipated, I realized I was in the third and final tomb. While the name on the plaque was illegible, like it had been near the main tomb, I knew I was in the right place.

Picking the emerald axe, I slotted it into place. When it clicked and gave a greenish hue, I was satisfied I’d been successful and would give Fleck another gold coin for handing it over. Considering he normally gets the lash from his overlords, this seemed like a nice reward.

With this deed done, I dashed out and back to the Child King’s tomb. There was the ruby spear to place and that tomb lay beyond the Child King.

Leaping over the rickety bridge, I entered the tomb, placed the spear and gave a small smile as it too gave off a glow.

“Now then, to see if I’ve done this correctly and to plunder the tomb itself!”

When you say it out loud, it seems quite nefarious. But, I was on the trail of loot, and loot I shall have.

Back at the Tomb of the Child King, the night was awash in a blue glow. The entrance was lit up like a beacon, urging me to come forth and enter. Heeding the call, I opened the door and made my way down the stairs.

The blue glow pervaded the entire room and gave it a frightening ambiance. I questioned whether I should continue. But, the thrill of seeing this scavenger hunt to it’s conclusion urged me forward.

My thoughts were interrupted as a formless specter assailed me. It could only be the spirit of the Child King seeking vengeance for disturbing his slumber and taking his worldly possessions.

“Back in the box!” I yelled as I hacked as slashed at where I thought the form would be. Again, fire would be my protector, and in the smoke and ash, I could clearly see his outline and struck with all my might.

His spirit collapsed and all fell silent. It was only me, the deadly silence and the call of treasure. Several chests lined the wall and hastened me over. Each was a terrible mimic trap, their mouths hungry to devour me.

The first caught me off guard and I was thrown to the floor, the snapping jaws mere inches from my face. The bone helm saved me and afforded the opportunity to regain my feet and ready the sword.

Summoning my courage and strength, I rendered a fatal blow, cleaving the mimic in two. Knowing that the other chests would be traps, I was prepared. I stepped in to unlock the chest, then leapt back to ready myself for combat. Each got a splintering blow that placed me as the victor.

And then, with great excitement and anticipation, I made my way to the center of the room and gazed upon the intricate sarcophagus. I was giddy with excitement and checking for any intruders, I heaved at the lid.

“The riches are mine!” I yelled in triumph. “Wealth beyond my wildest imaginings are here for the taking! All those days and nights in the desert, on the verge of starvation and dehydration will soon be behind me and I can live the life of luxury and eccentricity!”

Then I gave pause.

“Sixty gold coins? Surely there has to be more. I walk through the desert for days, commandeer an airship, nearly kill myself in multiple explosions, unravel the mysteries of this ancient puzzle and suffer the hazard of the angry spirit’s former inhabitant and fend of multiple mimics, for sixty gold pieces, a couple of moldy reagents, some chipped gem fragments and a damnable rusty sword? Where are the priceless ancient artifacts? Where are the untold riches? Where are the one of a kind family heirlooms?”

“Curse you!” I screamed and was nearly bowled over by the echo of my own impotent rage. “I could have made more coin harvesting water in a fraction of the time! I’ve been cheated! I’ve been swindled! I’ve been hoodwinked! Oh mistress of fortune and glory, why do you tease me so? Why do you build up my expectations only to crush my heart?”

I collapsed to the floor in exasperation. “There has to be more,” I sobbed. Then it struck me. “Priceless statues and vases!” I exclaimed, racing toward them. “They may be vulgar, but there is accounting for taste these days,” I said trying to wrench one from the floor.

It didn’t budge. I wrestled with another, and it proved as immobile as the first. I did my best to topple the statue, more out of a sheer act of vandalism than with any idea how I would traipse it through the city to sell or melt down.

Then I simply gave up. With my pittance of a reward, I exited the tomb. As if a sign of mockery was circling overhead, it began to rain.

“And not even a tavern in this shanty of a town to drown my sorrows in. Where’s one of those fauns? Talking to one of poor beggars will make me feel better about my lot in life.”


It fits! Fabulous riches and jewels will soon be mine!


Huzzah! It worked! I did it! Either that or I’ve unleashed a terrible beast and instaneous death awaits. Let’s hope for the former.


Say now, pretty swanky tomb you have here. That blue is quite fetching. I wonder if I could get that same effect in my hot tub room?

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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