Xavara, I have you now

I have you now you fiery harpy! You’re not the only one who enjoys a refreshing bathe in these sulphur springs! We could have made a fortune together, but no, you had to throw hot smoldering ash in my face and lash out with hateful words. Not to mention a couple of fireballs to the head. We probably could have even made a difference in the life of that odious troll. His whole demeanor could have been vastly improved with a hot soak and scrubbing the carbuncles off his backside.

Now hang on a moment. Those miserable thugs submitted when I unleashed the fury. Those mongrel wolves also met their match at my hands. Even those malcontent pumpkin-headed minions of evil went up like a tinderbox once they got the sword.

I was quite under the impression you could fight fire with fire. It has certainly worked in the past. I think Xavara is using her villainous ways to cheat me.

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

• Ashes to Ashes, Xavara to Dust and now I have my own Fire Elemental
• Is there no end to this blight?
• Pumpkinhead rises out of the not so sincere pumpkin patch
• What did we come in here for again?
• Behold the Power and Might of the Fire Chicken!
• Hello Fire Chicken, We Meet Again
• The all new Sword of Smiting and it’s twin the Sword of Stabby Stabby
• An ill-tempered bear tries to steal my picnic basket
• Chronicles of Necromancy amidst the Crag Foothills
• The Sincere pumpkin patch springs anew