After my glorious victory in the epic battle against Xavara the File Pillar, I returned to Desolis to claim my reward. While allowing the citizenry to congratulate me on ridding them of such a menace, I was approached by one of the local officials to inquite if I might be lend my assistance in another matter.
These Desolis folks take their desert quite seriously and a band of roughs known and the Atavists have been roaming the dunes, leaping out from behind rocks and stabbing unsuspecting travelers with pitchforks. Since Xavara had fallen at the hands of my sword, perhaps I could point it toward these unsavory types?
With my new found fiery companion, I marched straight out into the desert and demanded satisfaction for the ill the Atavists had wrought.
My reply came in the form of a pitchfork to the backside, an act I did not take kindly to. As we all know, plate armor defeats cotton and flaming sword defeats pitchfork. My retaliation was quick, deliberate and riddled with fire. The pitchforks were broken, the citizens punished for their treachery and the roasted pig stolen.
Then matters escalated. Seeing my ill treatment of his followers, the pointy hat wearing big boss made his presence known with an all consuming ring of fire. Little did he know that my daily regimen consists of setting my own self on fire.
It should be noted that those who play with fire should not wear cotton robes. This, along with a flaming sword to the kidney, was the ultimate undoing of the Luminous Atavist. After frisking his smoldering remains for trinkets, I yet again returned to Desolis to regale all those who wished to listen and many who didn’t, of my great exploits and how they were now safe to roam the desert wastelands as they see fit.
Now see here. If you’re about to launch a series of fireballs at my person, I give you fair warning, I shant take kindly to such actions and will be forced to retaliate. This will end in one of us begging for mercy.
No mercy given! I’m just glad it was you asking. I had my doubts there for a few moments.
More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia
- Ashes to Ashes, Xavara to Dust and now I have my own Fire Elemental
- When a quiet lunch in the meadow turns into a fiery horror
- Completing the Grand Tour to get the Highwayman Hat in Shroud of the Avatar Release 21
- Xavara, I have you now
- Attack of the Fire Harpy and the Shiving of the Troll
- What did we come in here for again?
- The Ruins of the Obsidian Order under the Epitaph in Desolis
- I’m not a bore, I went boar hunting. Big difference
- Hello Tour Guide… We Meet Again
- Hello Fire Chicken, We Meet Again