I regrettably admit my first forays into the pirate life have encountered a few unforeseen entanglements. Therefore, while I undertake the needed repairs to my fine sailing craft, I have devised another ingenious scheme to collect pirate loot. And from pirates no less.

I may not be gifted with nautical prowess, although my skills at walking the plank are now the stuff of legend. I do however possess an affinity for brewing fine ales and whiskeys without lumps. And what do pirates savor more than whiskey? That’s right, nothing! They are drawn to it like a moth to flame. Therefore I have set to the task of making numerous batches of premium ales and aged whiskeys to sell to my pirate confederates. This shall be garnished with savory meats and cheeses. All to be served in a very tasteful, decorative and upscale public house.

I have even imported the rare, and slightly dangerous flesh flayer plants. Not only are they a hypnotic delight to watch, they make up a key ingredient in my renowned Obsidian Elemental Guano Stout with Flesh Flayer Bitters. It is a mostly secret ale recipe I have been perfecting for years. Soon it will have just the right amount of bite without being mortally poisonous.

To keep away the unsophisticated commoners and general dragoons, and to let the pirate fellows know we are open and ready to cater to their needs, I have placed banners with their insignia, welcoming my pirate brethren. I am even offering ship repair services. Well, not me specifically, I am still learning the trade, and need time to recover from the hammer and chisel mishap.

But, I have made available my construction machinery for those heavy tasks. I have even provided an option to take a fabulous gondola ride around the Hollow.

We all know that pirates love gondola rides. A soothing and meditative cruise while enjoying a fine whiskey is an offer too good to pass up.

The pirates will flock to our shores. They will feast on delectables and enjoy the aromatic ales I have hand-crafted. It will be a glorious endeavor!

Behold, the aptly named Dirty Scoundrel! A fine pirate dining establishment!

I regrettably admit my first forays into the pirate life have encountered a few unforeseen entanglements. Therefore, while I undertake the needed repairs to my fine sailing craft, I have devised another ingenious scheme to collect pirate loot. And from pirates no less.

I may not be gifted with nautical prowess, although my skills at walking the plank are now the stuff of legend. I do however possess an affinity for brewing fine ales and whiskeys without lumps. And what do pirates savor more than whiskey? That’s right, nothing! They are drawn to it like a moth to flame. Therefore I have set to the task of making numerous batches of premium ales and aged whiskeys to sell to my pirate confederates. This shall be garnished with savory meats and cheeses. All to be served in a very tasteful, decorative and upscale public house.

I have even imported the rare, and slightly dangerous flesh flayer plants. Not only are they a hypnotic delight to watch, they make up a key ingredient in my renowned Obsidian Elemental Guano Stout with Flesh Flayer Bitters. It is a mostly secret ale recipe I have been perfecting for years. Soon it will have just the right amount of bite without being mortally poisonous.

To keep away the unsophisticated commoners and general dragoons, and to let the pirate fellows know we are open and ready to cater to their needs, I have placed banners with their insignia, welcoming my pirate brethren. I am even offering ship repair services. Well, not me specifically, I am still learning the trade, and need time to recover from the hammer and chisel mishap.

But, I have made available my construction machinery for those heavy tasks. I have even provided an option to take a fabulous gondola ride around the Hollow.

We all know that pirates love gondola rides. A soothing and meditative cruise while enjoying a fine whiskey is an offer too good to pass up.

The pirates will flock to our shores. They will feast on delectables and enjoy the aromatic ales I have hand-crafted. It will be a glorious endeavor!

Behold, the aptly named Dirty Scoundrel! A fine pirate dining establishment!

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There we have it! The pirate insignia is at full mast!
And the construction crane is at the ready should any mishaps come to pass.
It also makes for some fine entertainment through agility and feats of strength.

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My flesh flayer lovelies. Fun to look at, excellent flavor, and they protect the barrels.

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That will be a fine batch! It has all the hallmarks of being great. Excellent aroma, quality ingredients. No lumps. I’m getting good at this.

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Jugs of whiskey
Bottle of acquired Eleven wine
Some delicious cheese from the Clink
And a bit of smoked seafood for the discerning palette
This is going to go well

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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