PeteWi the Disoriented

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My shadow puppet interpretation of a wererabbit on the hunt at midnight!

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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For all the times you snuck up from beneath this bridge and scared the wits right out of me, you deserved every bit of that and more you miserable, smelly, bullyrag! I brought you a sandwich, but you refused to break bread with me. I offered you a nip of ale, but you threw it back in my face. I brought you a cake of soap, yet you were insulted to the core. You live right by a river, would it destroy your sensibilities to take a dip and scrub off a layer or two of the detritus that has collected upon your person? I even offered to make it a soothing soak by heating up the water with a blast of the immolation.

Well, we know what the answer was don’t we? That’s right, you chose to throw stones. Now I face a terrible dilemma. You have been vanquished in combat, but I quake with fear and horror at the idea of rifling through that kilt to see what goodies I might claim as my own. Windy, perhaps you could prod him with a few charges and shake a coin or two loose?

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All has become clear. No wonder you are filled with malice and fervor. Look at the way you live. It’s a stye in here! And this ale, it’s the gut rot of the realm! No wonder the flatulence is so powerful within you.

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Oh, so you were only pretending earlier? You dare to sneak upon me while my back is turned? Well, a flaming sword under the kilt isn’t the stuff of dreams my friend!

PeteWi 2, Troll 0

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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I say Elad, could I trouble you to open a window or perhaps reveal a secret door that might allow me to reenter the lighthouse? I leaned a touch too far over the balcony and now find myself in a spot of bother. It’s a lovely view, but perilously high.

If you haven’t got a spare door, perhaps you could lower a bit of rope?

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Lucky for you Elad, I have the finger and toe strength of a titan!

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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*Shipwrecked Haunted Pirate Galleon and beautiful arrangement of casks by Dexter Steele in Elad’s Lighthouse

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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A pirate ship! A real pirate ship! This is so very exciting! I shall sneak aboard using my well practiced powers of stealth, and plunder their plunder with reckless abandon. Show me your booty rapscallions of the high seas!

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Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me
We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho
We kidnap and ravage and don’t give a hoot
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho

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Doubloons! Ducats! Denarius! Goblets! Casks of ale! There might even be some pink hearts, yellow moons, and blue diamonds tucked away in here! The mind boggles at my newly found wealth and how I shall carry all of this back with me. I’m fairly sure bribing the crew with their own ill gotten gains is considered bad form.

*Shipwrecked Haunted Pirate Galleon by Dexter Steele

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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