In an effort to change the wicked ways of the bandits and thugs, I am trying to show them there is more to life than banditry and thievery by introducing them to games of skill and chance. While it has no official title, the thugs are lining up to try their prowess. The first game of skill goes a little something like this.

To start, the band of roughs creates a menacing circle and attempts to close in on me with designs of causing harm to my person. My goal is to stop them in their tracks using only my arrow attacks and I receive extra points if I bring them down without them striking me first.

While some of the players are quite wily and tricky in their approach to bob and weave and almost make it to the point of doing me harm, most will stumble and fall to the ground several yards distant of me.

If they make it close enough to strike, whoever falls first has to buy the other a mug of ale. To date, I have won many rounds, but the lads still try to win the day.

Our game of chance involves feats of strength wherein a contestant sees how many pummels of Stone Fist he can take to the chest. I will buy a round of ale for each strike that doesn’t render them incapacitated on the floor. So far the record is three, but that poor chap had to be carted away to a healer. And alas, I haven’t seen him since. Perhaps I had the positive influence I intended and he has turned away from his life of lawlessness.

Word has spread of my games with bandits along the road and thugs in the foothills lining up to try their luck. I think I’m making progress and reaching them, but time will tell if they decide to follow the straight and narrow.


All right, let’s see how many hits you can take from one of my Fist skills. Yikes, that one looks like it’s done some internal damage.


Careful now lads, pay attention! Don’t try and catch the Ice Arrow, that’s just the height of folly!


That was indeed a palpable hit! You’re going to have to get a move on if you want to make it over here before the scalding flames get the better of you.


Nice game lads, but it looks like I won this round. After you’ve regained consciousness, you can join me in the pub

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

My prowess with the blade is on the cusp of becoming legend, with onlookers gasping comments like, "I’ve never seen it done like that before," and "he’s certainly going to put out an eye." But, as gifted as I may be, I must acknowledge the skill and acumen of others.

As an example, I’ve noted that Jobe, of the LOTC guild, is progressing in fine fashion with his bow skills. He shows great promise and if he continues to practice, could one day be a formidable adversary.

Since he’s committed himself to ranged attack, I’m not able to offer proper council or aid his skill development as if he had taken up the blade. However, he was good enough to detail his exploits, so I will review his style and offer pointers where appropriate.

Don’t be too critical of the lad, he’s still learning.

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

In order to keep me safe from the perils and dangers of the realm, Oba Evesor constructed a magnificent suit of armor made from White Iron. This will give me the valuable protection I need when faced with the onslaught of spiders, wolves, bears and the undead. No longer will it be a simple matter of stabbing me in the kidney and rendering me incapacitated. They’re going to have to work for their supper!

It’s a complete suit too, from boots that were made for walking, to the helm that casts and eerie shadow and makes me look as though I have stepped from the Netherworld. That is always a good look when trying to instill the proper amount of fear when first encountering an adversary.

Not to be outdone, I have crafted a mighty two-handed blade from bronze. This should prove useful as I endeavor to skewer bandits and the mage that never cease to do me harm by trying to set me ablaze. We’ll see who gets the last laugh.

To add the coup de grace to this magnificent set, I toiled at the crafting table and created a dye ensemble that would give this plating the brilliance it deserves. I had to loot a tremendous amount of bananas from that ungrateful Myra in Owl’s Head in order to complete it. I think she could be a bit more accommodating after all my work to sneak into the Clink to try and extricate her brother. It’s not my fault he’s suffering from the ill effects of dungeon fever and refused to make a getaway with me. I possessed the sword of smiting, what could have possibly gone wrong? Daylight and a fortifying sandwich were at hand!

Nevertheless, it is time to behold the awesome power of the White Iron Epic plate, adorned with Yellow Gold and trimmed with Dark Yellow. Don’t get too close, it’s sharp!


Don’t try to take it in all at once, there is simply too much.

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

After attending several PvP styled tournaments, I have come to the conclusion that Stinging Tree Hollow would benefit by the inclusion of its own combat arena. I have no personal desire or the skills necessary to engage in such feats of strength and combat, but rather, my reasons for such a structure are somewhat selfish.

While in attendance of previous tournaments, I, and several other unsuspecting onlookers where assailed with random acts of devastation. It seems spells such as Chain Lightning have no regard for the innocent and I was electrocuted in a most savage way. This lead to the embarrassing situation of losing control of my viscera and the more mortifying result of being knocked unconscious, forcing me to drop my drinking horn, thus spilling my ale. Additionally, degenerate gambling seems to be frowned upon in other towns and I feel compelled to rectify this situation.

To create a safe environment for ale consumption and the time honored trading of betting on people’s lives, the groundwork and the wheels have been set in motion. Alley Oop, with ever a keen eye and attention to detail has marked out the playing field and set up the boundaries we shall work within. With the help of the local vendors, suitable seating has been installed and appropriate lighting is being set.

Whether he realizes it or not, Oba Evesor has been tasked with preparing the field for battle. It rests upon his worthy shoulders to create a pitch well suited for combat. When completed it will create an area where participants must be aggressive and vigilant in order to hunt down their prey. Small areas of cover will be available, but there shall be no cowering the corners and no escaping the area. In the end, they must fight or submit. And, I of course, shall wager on the outcome and revel in the results knowing full well that errant arrows or misfired bolts of lightning shall not come between myself and my ale.

It shall indeed be a grand spectacle. And in order to spur on construction, I’m off to get the lash.


Well, things are coming along nicely. I see Oba is putting in some sort of diabolical maze.


Very good, my hot air balloon is in place so I can watch over the proceedings. And I see my wheel of pain has been delivered, excellent news.

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

A few nights ago Shroud of the Avatar sponsored the Shooter Jennings event for the release of Countach. I was not able to attend said event and curse the bad luck, in my absence a battle of epic proportions broke out.

First of all, I’m not a PvP style player. I have the fighting skills of a drunken money with a spoiled banana – not a pretty sight. There is nothing to be gained by beating me down into the street, I present no challenge to you and would rather just hand over the milk money and avoid a punch to the face. However, there are plenty who do enjoy the Mano a Mano of PvP.

Through an introduction via Alley Oop, I’ve recently been hanging out with members of LOTC who are quite gifted in the ways of PvP. They’re also damn good at crafting, melee, ranged, decorating, speed clogging and yodeling. Although they won’t own up to the speed clogging or yodeling, but one day, they’ll give in.

Anyway, present at the event were Oba Evesor, Gravedancer, Stank, Jobe and a few others. I’m not sure if the rules of combat were discussed ahead of time, but it looks like both sides were in agreement to battle on. They were in the town of Vengeance, so what do you expect?

The video was taken from Jobe’s point of view and shows some serious carnage. You will see several familiar names and then you will see those same names collapsing in the dirt to be replaced with Oracle headstones. From my untrained eye, it borders on a massacre and the landscape is soon dotted with red orbs marking the fallen.

And it’s not just fellow players that meet their maker, some notable names, specifically Chris Spears and Starr Long from Portalarium make an appearance, at least for a few seconds before they’re cut down.

We first notice that Darkstarr has invulnerability, but when he forgoes such protection, it gets a bit rough for him.

The video is pretty good length, but chock full of PvP combat goodness. If you don’t have time for the whole thing, make sure to watch at least the first 20 and last 20 minutes. The streets flow red with the blood of the non-believers in the beginning and by the time we get to the end, the Portalarium crew tries to turn the tide by summoning Chaos Demons and Dragons.

Much to their chagrin, those beasts end up taking a dirt nap.

Again, I don’t claim to know a damn thing about PvP, but I walked away with a couple of thoughts.
First, the Devs might want to brush up on their combat skills.
Second, those giving the Devs pointers on how combat skills should work, might want to brush up on their combat skills.
Third, I’m pretty sure Gravedancer killed a man just to watch him die. But that’s purely speculation on my part.

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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