Stinging Tree Hollow

In the town of Stinging Tree Hollow, there once was an innkeeper on the cusp of great financial success when he fell victim to the dangers and ravages of drink. Not through excess consumption as may be thought, but by mixing Corpse Wax into his ale at the behest of his absent-minded manservant Groggery. This misguided deed opened a doorway to commune with dark forces.

Voices came to him in the night. At first he resisted, but eventually broke down. The change manifested as large, sinister statues were sculpted in the likeness of his new headless master. With his tithe rebuked, more grand statues were built to show admiration.

Soon, the voices consumed his mind, speaking to him of terrible deeds, which he eventually acted out. One by one the guests suffered at his hands.

He plotted as they slept in their beds, roaming the halls wreaking havoc and chaos. The truly unfortunate were taken to the roof to take a seat at the bizarre altar erected to the nameless terror.

In the end, the innkeeper lost his mind and his own head, becoming a shattered wreck of a man.

Who can say what happened, but when the moon is full, you can hear the wails of his guests shrieking out in terror at his nefarious misdeeds. If you dare approach, you may see the keeper, now a tormented headless specter, reading by the fire.

Let this be a lesson. Life is too short to drink a poor ale.

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* A special thank you to Alley Oop for design help and donations to the cause

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

I’m not sure what it is, but am awestruck by it’s scale and design. Just above our local stream, Oba has begun construction on a project I can only describe as epic. I say that because I have no idea what he’s up to or the purpose of this magnificent edifice.

As you cross over the bridge you can’t help but be taken by the myriad of columns, vines and statuary all placed with such random good taste and precision as to be infinitely tasteful and decorative.

When I entered the sanctuary, I was taken with it’s cooling and relaxing aura. I also became lost by following the winding footpath laid before me. It’s a snaking course that had me going in circles around the central columns. It took many tries to realize that I need to zig instead of the usual zag to make my way out.

The statuary is extremely elegant and the columns have a majestic aged quality. I’m anxious to see the final product, assuming of course it’s not completed.

I suspect this could be the beginnings of his new vineyard or perhaps a lovely garden where we can all come to meditate upon the virtues. I would ask the man himself, but he is elusive and chooses to work under the cover of darkness.

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I say! What a marvelous bit of construction we have here!

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I believe I will have to take a look. Hopefully this is not some sort of evil labyrinth with a terrible creature at the center waiting to devour me!

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That is some fine statuary you have there. And an abundance of columns too.
I dare say, it is quite magnificent, whatever it is.

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

While others were out scouring the world, elbowing each other for a chance to claim a town lot, we officially broke ground on Stinging Tree Hollow. And what an auspicious night is was, Friday the 13th. The cornerstone to the crafting pavilion was laid as our first structure came into existence. We can now get down to the serious business of crafting, of which Alley and Oba wasted no time. It seems Oba spent the off-season down in the mines and in short order had enough ore to craft a brand new suit of armor, helm and two handed sword for me. This very quickly replaced my starter gear and I wasted no time in testing it out. I’m happy to report that Oba did indeed take the extra care and time in making a solid and reinforced codpiece section for me. That’s thinking ahead!

From there, we hired some merchants and set them up in their own shop. In typical fashion, we found the Banker in the tavern, hiding in the corner.

We have also begun setting up our farming plot. A sturdy greenhouse is now in attendance and cotton plants and reagents shall soon fill the plant beds. I even took a moment to tether a balloon to the banks of our fine pond. Alley wasted no time in practicing her Safe Fall. While she had marvelous hang time on that first leap of faith, the sudden stop at the end was her nemesis and I stood in horror as she quietly came to rest amongst the reeds. Good thing no one was in town to see that slight miscalculation.

While we must wait for the land rush to officially conclude before we can expand our sphere of influence, we are off to a good start. We are already producing and salvaging goods at a breakneck pace. At this rate, I will be able to make something more grand than the Wooden Storage Chest in no time.

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Huzzah!! The first of what will surely be many erections we shall have in our new town!
And the mighty wood surrounding it is magnificent!
Why do you snicker when I say that?

More brilliant musings about my adventures in New Britannia

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